I now live with two drag queens. My life has taken a definite turn for the queer. When i'm not doing something macho, like fixing computers, fiddling with electronics, or playing video games...I sit in the parlor and watch them dance around to music from the fifties, sixties, and now. Sometimes they're in half drag, a boy who's normally two inches shorter than me, towers over me in platforms with a 3/4 wig clipped to his head. Other times one is sewing a new outfit while the other mows the lawn. I don't know why, but they seem to assume that alcohol is the solution to all of my problems. I'm 99.999991% (the same percentage of the speed of light that the particles in the LHC are going to be traveling at) sure that alcohol was the main source of my recent fight with Caleb, but...Caleb's not a factor anymore, and i rarely turn down free booze.

Since i've been dating Shea, i've frequented the bar more (since he works there). I'm still mostly unknown by the bar regulars, but they're starting to notice me. Being noticed gets me free drinks. Within five minutes of walking in the bar last night, there was a drink for me. Two words to someone else got me another one. It brings me the greatest joy, however,  when i get free drinks upstairs where Shea usually serves. The greatest part about this is that they don't bring me the drink themselves, they order it from Shea...who then has to bring it to me. This is how it usually goes:

Shea: Here you go, babe. [sets down drink/shot/shooter/whatever]

Me: um...what's this? I didn't order this...[i start to look concerned]

Shea: I know...that guy bought it for you.

Me: oh...cool. I like free drinks! wait...does this mean i'm gonna have to put out? [saying this right when the music stops between songs so everyone hears me]

Shea: Not to him!...but definitely to me...stop trying to make me jealous...

Me: Shut up...put your shirt back on. [raise my glass to whoever bought me the whatever and nod]

Shea: but i make more money when i don't wear my shirt!

Me: well, I get more drinks when i make you jealous...so ha! Wait...that didn't make sense...i get more drinks...when...um. Why do i get drinks again?

Shea: you're sexy

Me: ur drunk! *hiccup* *giggle* [chews on olive from martini and tries to look very serious]

Shea: uh...are you ok? [looking concerned about my drastic mood swing]

Me: ...the LHC isn't really going to destroy the world, I don't think. I think people are just scared and possibly stupid.

Shea:...LHC?

Me:...yeah, but steven hawking says it's bullshit, their concerns i mean. Nick wants to shave my eyebrows, don't let him...or at least beat him up if he does.

Shea: ...are you drunk?

Me: no...this is only my second drink. Oh...tell that guy he's a creeper, but i appreciate the drink.

I am teh winningz.

and for an update on the Caleb situation...

He apologized in a work-email yesterday, sort of. He asked if wanted to go to Target with him after work, since he finally got his giftcard from the president of the company for his birthday. I told him no, and that maybe someday i would be able to be civil around him, but it's still too soon. it then went something like this:

me: the fact that i'm still in physical pain/discomfort really doesn't help

caleb: If i may ask, why are you in physical pain?

me: well, my throats still somewhat swollen, so it's still difficult to swallow. I can still feel where your thumb was. Also, my right knee is still uncomfortable from the the back bumper of your car.

Caleb: oh yeah, sorry.

WTF?! "oh yeah?" really? golly gee, i don't know why you'd be in pain, alls i did wuz strangle ya and hit ya wit my car! dum de dum dum.

idiot.

Later in the day, he hand delivered a typed note that said (word for word)

"I don't know if it's true or not but i didn't think you where the type of person to tell the HOLE office our person life...that stings man, it really does, and even if i deserve it or not...if it is true, then...wel..., i don't think i can be your friend or even talk to you, besides professionally...i thought better of you..., i did...if you can convince me that you didn't tell the whole office then i'll survive..."

my response was along the lines of:

"I told Alison, because she is my friend and we talk about our personal lives in the way that friends normally do.

I told Manager and HR because i feel uncomfortable around you. In being professional, i felt that this needed to be documented and that there needs to be some sort of arrangement where contact between us is kept to a minimum. I also don't find it appropriate for us to be the last two people in the office every day.

The only other things that i have mentioned, to anybody, are about me moving and trying to get all of my stuff. You emailed everybody last month that you would be moving at the end of september and needed boxes. Since most people knew that we were a couple, this was a clear indicator that we had broken up. The fact that i have abruptly moved in the beginning of the month, without asking for boxes or anything, suggests that Something Happened. Also, many people have seen Shea bring me lunch and give me a kiss goodbye, another indicator.

I honestly don't think that Alison, HR, or Manager would say anything to anybody...considering confidentiality is held in a high regard around here. I would just chalk this up to office gossip, and not worry about it."

and why don't you lurn tings? wha happend atcho skoolz 2 make you le stoopidz?

Look at me! I'm one-upping office gossip. I am making this full blown intrawebz gossips, yo.

siiiigh.

[another subject leap]

I decided what i'm going to get Shea for his birthday! This really does require the two months of advanced planning. The first step requires putting all of my cd's on my computer. The second step invloves buying a blue, fourth generation ipod nano. Step three, obviously, is putting all of my music on to the ipod. For step four, i'm going to buy a candy bar (probably reesces) and carefully open the package, remove candy, clean out chocolate bits, put nano in candy wrapper, magically reseal the wrapper, and put a bow on it. Shea really enjoys all of my music, but doesn't know most of it. He's also wanted an ipod for a while...so i figure this a double whammy of awesome birthday present. Plus, it will be fun to see his face when i hand him a candy bar for his 21st birthday.

(knowing him, he'll ask, "what happened to the candy?")

[skipping again]

Leo has been adjusting to living with two kittens. This is a fun and interesting time for him, but he likes to enforce the fact that I am his, and Tatum and Spunky should not seek my affection. He's only been outright mean to them once. Tatum bit his tail, so he turned and gave him one solid thwack to the head. However, most of Leo's defensive actions are rather flawed and ineffective. He'll run away from the kittens for a bit, then lay down on his side and growl. He won't even fluff himself up, or try to act tough...he just lazily lounges about and growls. This is day four for him, and he seems to be much more comfortable. I no longer have to wake up to petty cat fights, or Tatum sleeping on my head. (hi!)

and that's all folks!

Jesse---------currently dating-------Shea
|           \______                                     |
|                           \                                   |
lives with               \                lives with on the weekends
used to date           \                       used to date
|                       might live with                 |
|                        pseudo dated                  |
|                                  \                            |         currently lives with
Caleb                          -------------------Nick*-----used to date---------John**

*lives at Shea's mom's house
**currently lives in the house, but will be kicked out soon due to his inability to find a job

Caleb Quote of the Month:

"That cat just attacked that cat and boff!"

This is a mostly-pointless post. But it explains how i get through my work day.

 So, since moving in with Alison is out...I really have to figure out what i'm going to do. If i move to Chicago in January...it almost seems like it would be better for me to just continue living with Caleb until i leave. I use the word 'better' strictily in the financial sense. I mean, would i really want to spend about a thousand dollars to hopefully live month to month in an apartment for just a few months? My apartment's primary function would become storage.

My sanity, however, may force me to pull the less fiscally wise move. I can't continue to live with Caleb. Simply can't. We had to have a talk about his feelings last night...one of my least favorite subjects. It basically reaffirmed everything that i already knew...basically it came down to him saying "I know I treat you like shit, but I get frustrated, and even though i tell myself not to take it out on you, there's no one else there, and it's so much easier. But i want to be friends and i'm scared of being alone"

double you...........tea....................eff

So I might start apartment shopping and become super frugal. Maybe I'll pick up a second job along the way.

Now i'm on song 46 of 52.

I won second place in a tan-line contest last night.

I know that my cat, Leo, is strange. He's been quirky ever since i got him, but now...he's definitely just a straaaaange kitty.

He loves people, and must sit on every lap, no matter how much the lap protests.
He plays fetch.
He comes when you call his name.
He chatters in hopes that his sonic blasts will knock down flying bugs and other hard to reach objects.
He'll obey simple commands ("go in there" "come here" "get down" "be quiet" etc.)

He nibbles on my fingers.

This last one is a newer development. I've read that it's a high sign of affection in the kitty cat world. He went through a short phase of it almost a year ago, after i had been gone for a week, but it only lasted a few days. Now he's been nibbling on me for the past two weeks, any time he sits with me.It's kind of weird....he never bites hard enough to hurt, he just wants my fingers in his mouth. It doesn't even bother him if i grab his teeth or tongue.

I'm starting to think he's in love with me, or at least jealous by the attention i give to Shea. 

During um...intimate moments, he'll sit a few feet away from the bed and watch (unless i kick him out) and then try and cuddle when we're done. If i do kick him out, he'll keep reaching through the crack in the door, and drag out any socks he can reach. 

But even then, if Shea spends the night, Leo will sleep curled up against my right side, and Shea will be on my left. If Shea isn't there, Leo will sleep on the left side of me, with his front half on my stomach. 

....I wonder what he would do if i switched sides of the bed?

He is a strange strange kitty...but I love 'im.

One of my favorite things about him is how excited he is when i come from work or being out. It reminds me of Hobbes tackling Calvin when he would get home from school.

Just less violent

yaaaaaay kitty!

To all of those that read this: I had the best weekend I’ve had in a very long time.

Now I’m going to tell you about it.

Friday: Immediately after work, I didn’t feel like going home (oh yeah, I never told y’all that Caleb and I broke up again for good about three months, but once again, we are still living with each other. It’s been up and down. He either thinks I’m his best friend or worse enemy. I’m pretty indifferent, but we still have another month and a half on our lease.) so I went to Lynz’s house to drink beer and watch Lynz, Kirsten, and Steve paint the house. I wasn’t wearing paintin’ clothes so I just offered moral support, and beer.

Kirsten, Steve, and I ended up going to Diversions later. They finally met Shea (the new boyfriend) and we played some pool and drank some drinks. We also danced, near the end of the evening. Now, I rarely dance at a club. Being tall and lanky has given me sharp elbows, knees, shoulders, and hips. If it’s crowded on the dance floor, I try not to move my arms, for fear of stabbing someone in the ribs or eyes. I get annoyed by friends telling me I need to “get more into the music” because they never seem to understand that people get hurt if I do.

Regardless, the dance floor was fairly empty, so I felt like I could move around some more. I danced with some guy for a while, and enjoyed myself. Once he left, I danced by myself, hoping to attract some attention. Unfortunately I attracted the wrong kind. Someone came up behind and put their arms around me. I’m not unused to this, since I know many people that frequent that bar. The dancing was fine, at first, until he simultaneously started to kiss my neck and shove his hand down the front of my pants. Literally…down my pants, fingers started to go under the elastic of my underoos. I immediately pulled his hand away and unleashed the full power of my pointy elbows, jabbing him until he left. Kirsten pulled me away and became my bodyguard. I tried to tell some of the workers, but he left the bar shortly after the incident, and I couldn’t describe him well enough to get a name from anybody. Then I decided that I would go to Canada the next day and night for Rugger Fest.

Saturday: I woke up insanely early (8am, wtf?!) and packed my things for the trip. We packed a cooler full of food, loaded up the car, and headed out to Canada. The ride was fairly uneventful. Steve had the Twilight audio book on his iPod so we listened to that and made fun of the narrator whenever she said “Bella.” She said it like she was a child, and “Bella” was her first word.

Then we got to the Ambassador Bridge. The woman at the booth didn’t really approve of Kirsten not having her birth certificate. She stated that while she could still technically get into Canada, she might have difficulty returning to the states. She then guided us to immigration to save us the trouble of not being able to return the next day. The car was searched, we all tensed up when they asked Kirsten her “None Runs” pills were. They were just in a Ziploc bag and labeled “none-runs” Kirsten then had to, embarrassingly, explain that were for when her stomach was upset, and she couldn’t stop excusing herself to the restroom.

The search people then gave us our forms and directed us to the Immigration Office. Bork and I passed the test, however they yelled at Kirsten for not having her certificate and having some drinking related incident four years ago. Then they told Steve he couldn’t go to Canada because he’s a felon by their laws (operating while impaired, in the states, is apparently a felony in Canada.) They then  yelled at Kirsten some more and demanded to know what she blew, she could not recall.

During all of this, we all sat in the waiting room, laughing about how ridiculous it was that we were getting turned down by Canada and that Steve is a felon.

Steve was then handed forms that told him he needed to leave the country immediately.

We then just decided to go to Great Lakes Crossing. We had some food, saw my parents, I bought $50 worth of clothes from H&M, and Breaking Dawn from the bookstore. Then it was on to Gameworks for a night of pool, video games, and booze. More Twilight accompanied the ride back to Grand Rapids.

Sunday: I spent the entire day with Shea. We slept in until noon, got cleaned up, and spent some time with his mom and sister. Then we went to see The Dark Knight on imax. When we got back to his Mom’s house they started making “family dinner” while his sister Delaney went through my cd collection. I was happy that she was able to find a decent amount of music that she hadn’t heard before, but was interested in. I let her hold onto a bunch of cd’s to rip to her ipod.

Family Dinner was delicious, there was chicken stuffed with ham and cheese (not cordon bleu though, and with some kind of sauce that Shea made that involved pineapples and onions and….stuff,) squash, Amish cheese bread, salad with strawberries, and a pasta salad with pesto.  We all helped clean up, and then Shea and I got ready for our night out. We went to a drag show at Rumors where a friend was performing. Bill and Cait ended up meeting us there.

We made it back home around two, had a roll in ze hay, and passed out.

Somehow, I managed to wake up early again today. I didn’t get back to my house until 2:20, hurriedly shaved and got dressed for work, and then bolted out the door again. I had more fun this weekend in a long time. I think a lot of it was just because I didn’t have to see or deal with Caleb, and it was all spent with my best friends and Shea. I only stopped at home once, to drop off my post-Detroit purchases, so I was essentially not from 2:30pm Friday, to 2:20pm today.

And for those of you that are curious about the new boyfriend, I offer a brief description: He’s tall, sexy, funny, and dorky. He holds my hand and finishes my food. He’s one of the only people I’ve been able to fall asleep in the arms of (provided it’s not an oppressively hot August day/night). He makes me look at things in a more positive light, and I’ve yet to pick out any annoying habits.

So there it is.

Maybe my next post won’t be so epic, but I do hope to post again soon.

so, i actually got the promotion i had be aiming for.

I am now an A/R Specialist, handling appeals, refunds, and statuses.

I get to yell at insurance companies ^_^

Go me!

 So, work is actually going very well. Despite the fact that i'm still bored out of mind a majority of the time (as proof: i'm writing this). The good news is that i will probably be promoted next week! There's a 95% chance this will happen. i'm not exactly sure what i'll be dong, but i won't be scanning, and i'll be making more money, which is a joyous thing.

Now onto the random emotional stuff that refuses to form into coherent sentences:

I'm starting to feel like i might be selfish
at least, that's how i'm being treated.
I don't think it's selfish of me to expect you to give me attention
when i'm talking to directly to you.
Should it not bother me that you'd get distracted by a nickel on the floor?
I'd understand if you were listening, and had picked it up to roll between your fingers...
But to see it, and think of it as ammo to throw at a the friend you've forced into being a third wheel and scream "BULLSEYE!"
and to have not heard the last five sentences...

i think that's rude of you,
not selfish of me.

I know i'm not being as considerate as i should be
he's going through a hard time, maybe i should be more compassionate.

he tells me i need to be "fcking humble"...
i don't think he knows the meaning of the word.

It worries me that he doesn't worry about us.
He thinks everything is fine.
He invests too much in things that aren't in his hands...
Yet doesn't think twice about the person his hand is holding.

I might be fooling him though,
I end up doing things i don't want to, just so i don't have to deal with explaing why i'd rather not.
i do it so i won't hurt him
but rarely is that returned.

I guess i should just start doing what i want,
it's my life after all.

If he doesn't want to
well...he doesn't have to.

Do you know what i'd like to do tonight?

my laundry.

• $300 check from Grandma
• $150 deposited into my account from my parents
• Godiva travel cup, coffee, and hot chocolate from Caleb's parents
• Candle from Caleb's parents
• special treatment from Spike and Mike's liquor store.

I'm sitting in my office chair right now. How fitting, being at the office in this variety of chair.

My back doesn't let me sit in any one position for too long. Currently, my heels are on the seat with my arms on  either side, typing.

people look at me funny when i sit this way. They find it weird that i can still type. I find it weird they can't touch type by now.

My hair is parted down the middle today, i got tired of it being in my eyes. I don't want to cut it, yet. I'm seeking alternative styles that will allow me to see.

Plus, if i cut it, what would happen to my awesome sideburns?

They would go bye-bye and that would make me sad.

We watched Tekkonkinkreet the other night (based off the manga 'Black and White')

The English voice actors were surprisngly good. I would have watched it in Japanese, but Caleb doesn't like 'reading' movies.

I find myself muttering 'be happy, be happy' under my breath a lot.

It sort of works. Not so much happy, just calmer.

I'm able to get out of my cell phone contract for free this month. So are all other sprint users.

They violated the contract, raising the price of a single text message from ten, to fifteen cents! FIFTEEN CENTS!

outrageous, i will not stand for it, and i don't have to.

plus i'm really effin' tired of sprint. They make me so angry i just wanna--

be happy be happy

BE HAPPY BE HAPPY!

I'm sitting and waiting for this program to finish converting things into pdfs, but i'm watching one of leo's orange hairs wiggle around. It's stuck to my jeans. I wish i could bring my kitty to work. Everyone would love him, and he would constantly be in their way. It would be joyous.

by that i mean, at my job...not that my brain is working. silly.

i'm glad i'm feeling better. Too bad i didn't get to use my paid time off for my sick days. oh well, i need to budget better anyway.

Savings accounts sound cool.

I just ate burger king. It has created this greasy solid mass in the pit of my stomache. I won't need to eat for a while.

I like my hair today, it's nice.

My left collarbone hurts. I really hope it's not a tumor. It might be.

My sternum also hurts. I think my skeletal system is completely different from most humans. My sternum will pop like knuckles do. It's really rather strange. But this is the first time i've been sick since it started doing that. It felt like it was flexing when i coughed. Maybe i have elastic bendable bones.

Like mr.stretch, except not so much. 

Remember that time i was in a spaceship during a cosmic storm and the radiation altered my DNA?

I do. It was sweet.

Music makes work easier to get through.

yeaaaaah.